To Love

It's been a while since my last post and to those who like to keep track, I am very sorry. Life has been a bit overwhelming for the past few months, but I was inspired by something one of my favorite poets/artists posted on Instagram. She wrote, 

"you have been focused

on winning and losing

you forgot to notice

there is no

battle here

at all"

Her words really got my thoughts moving and I had to share. Everyone is truly so concerned with one another, everyone is constantly in some type of competition, even subconsciously. It has become so important to have a "better" life than the one which we are already living. So many of us have difficulty viewing life from different angles. When you have a bad day, it's not a bad life. Just because someone has something you don't does not mean what you have isn't amazing. I'm sure everyone has heard the saying, "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything."
Life would be so much simpler for each and every human being if we'd all stop to take the time to realize that there is no peace with competition. Working together and caring for each other is the number one solution to all of our problems. Give love to every being you come in to contact with. Push each other to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Pull each other closer, don't push each other away. There is no point in constant battles; there is no reason for a loser or winner.
We are all here for one reason - to love. 

When The Road Gets Bumpy, Stay Stronger

   I've spent the last two or three years learning and growing, working on myself. Every single day has taught me something new, whether it be about myself, the people around me, or the world I live in. While I've been on this endless journey, the most important lesson I've learned is that strength comes from within. Once, I read a quote that said, "Everything you're going through is growing you." I am unsure who said it, but I know it meant a lot to me. There are times in our lives where we are unsure how we will make it out of a certain situation. It is difficult to make sense of things, we are only human, but in hard times, the main thing to remember is that your strength is just that - yours. No matter what, the strength you build stays inside of you. Your mind and body only grow stronger through every experience. But these words are not to confuse the fact that the strength of others will help and guide you.
   Some people you meet will leave an imprint on you forever. You may know this person for the rest of your existence, or your paths may differ, and you might say goodbye earlier than you expect. Whatever the case, the point is that some people just build you up, whether they try to or not. Some people are just beautifully built, and they only know how to share that beauty. Some people give unbelievable strength and support, and giving them thanks just never seems like enough. {At this moment I just want throw some thanks out to all of those who have given me strength and support in my times of need. Some people will never, ever know how much they have truly helped me, and I only hope that someday, somehow, I can at least return the favor.}
   One of the best things you can do for yourself is to believe in yourself. Things get tough sometimes, but the best way to stay strong is to believe that you can stay strong. The strength that others see in you inspires them to be strong themselves. In a world full of strong, independent people, nothing can stop us from living our dreams.
   And so, my friends, today I challenge you to do something amazing. I encourage you to tell someone how important and strong they are. To let someone know that they are doing an incredible job, and to keep it up! Life throws curve balls, and sometimes, someone might need a push to help them find their strength again. Don't forget how much your strength can help strengthen others. And never, ever forget that you are so much stronger than you think you are. You can do almost anything, if you believe in yourself.
   Stay stronger than the things that bring you down.. You ARE stronger.

Love All, Hate None, Trust Few

Today I'd like to dedicate a post strictly to friendship. 
A friend is someone who you can trust, and someone you know you can count on, not to be confused with an acquaintance, say, someone you associate with, but would not tell your secrets to. This generation has surrounded itself with people who call themselves "friends", but will not think twice about betraying that same person they've just called their pal. Friendship, to me, is something extremely important. A friend is someone I can call at any times of the day and ask for help to make a decision, (since I am the number one candidate for indecisiveness) and that friend will assist me in finding which choice is best for me. I know many people, but I do not call all of them my friends. I love everyone I've come in contact with, but unfortunately I have learned that not everyone has the best intentions. Sometimes, a person whom you've called a friend will make a mistake, hurt you or even betray you and say they did not mean it. In cases like these, it is hard to decide if this person is meant to stay in your life, or needs to be cut out and removed due to the negative actions they've shown you. My best advice when it comes to a friend's mistake is to always forgive, not for them, but for you - for your own peace of mind,  even if you've not received an apology. Once you have forgiven them, you are able to move forward. Time is our number one healer. If you believe this friend has truly made a mistake, and has not meant to hurt you or betray your trust, maybe a second chance isn't a horrible idea. It is hard to know when our judgement is correct, but most of the time, I'd tell you to trust your gut feeling. A good friend is a good friend, in that, they will stand by your side and help you up when you are down. But a human is a human, in that, we make mistakes and some people deserve second chances. In my own opinion, pride is never more important than a good friendship. Life gives us some people who are meant to be in our lives for only a short amount of time. No matter how long that person is around, they are there for a reason, to teach us a lesson. Being hurt or betrayed by someone you once called a friend might, at first, seem unbearable. You didn't expect this person to prove your trust wrong, and now you are stuck wondering if you have poor judgement, or if this person just has a good act. Whatever the case, always remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation and/or apology for cutting the toxic people or things out of your life. If this person has shown you they cannot be trusted, you have every right to delete them from your life. However, if you choose to give someone another chance, another shot at gaining your trust, you've got to actually be willing to try to trust them! I believe in second chances, but not everyone deserves them. Just be cautious who you let in. Some care, and some are just curious. 

"Good Vibes Only"

     An interesting concept has become pretty big in this generation. It seems almost everyone is trying to live by the term "good vibes only." Although it does sound ideal, to only have good vibes flowing in and out of your body, mind and spirit, it isn't quite possible. And although I do call myself an optimist, I'd say I've got a splash of realist in me. BALANCE is one of the most important parts of our lives. I wrote an insert once, here in this blog, about balance, and it's importance. In that post I mentioned,
"If we didn't know bad, we would not know good, those are the simplest terms of balance."
     Life is FULL of UPS and DOWNS. To only produce good vibes from within yourself, and radiate those positive vibes everywhere you go, to everyone you meet, is absolutely beautiful. But to feel is no crime. Anger is indeed the easiest emotion to feel and act upon. Sadness is sometimes easy as well. In some situations, it is hard to hold your emotions back and only feel and spread those good vibes. That does not mean you should act upon these negative feelings, but feeling them is natural. Those are the vibes that balance out the good.
     Positive vibrations are all around us, and so are negative. Our job is to help our minds concentrate on the good, but accept the bad as well, not just pretend it isn't there. Bad things happen so better things can follow. Life is a curse and a blessing in disguise. Every day can bring you something new. Face each day with a positive mind and ALWAYS radiate positivity and light. A bad day doesn't create a bad life.. 
                      "When life is good, say 'thank you,' and celebrate.
          When life is bitter, say 'thank you,' and grow."

Special People

It's been a while since I've posted, so if you're still here, scrolling through my blog, reading my posts, I thank you.
      I've got a story I more than want to share... I feel the need to.
I made a friend a few months ago. This person and I met, and we instantly clicked. Sometimes it's extremely easy to get along with someone, it could be that you like the same things, or you listen to the same music.. you could bond over something as simple as liking the same beer. Whatever the case, this friend and I have a lot in common, and we get along really well. As I said, it's only been a few months. Maybe three months, if even that, since we met. Regardless of the amount of time we've known each other, I've grown to love this person. I've come to care about this person very strongly. We've begun to spend more time together and get to know each other on a deeper level, and my, do I love him more every day. I believe we've created a strong and healthy friendship and I am grateful to have him. 
      The point of this post is to share that I've learned, over the weeks, how this person feels about himself. He is a sweet, friendly, silly, adventure-seeking kid like the rest of us. Unfortunately, he doesn't always see that. To be honest, he doesn't see much at all when he looks in the mirror. As time has passed, I've paid more and more attention to this friend's behavior and his word-choice when he speaks about himself. I've gathered that he truly doesn't find as much worth in himself and his life as he really has. It's easy to become blind to your own worth sometimes, especially when there are certain people helping cloud that for you. This friend, he cares about other people. He has fun in his eyes when he laughs. He is good company, and he has become someone important to me. 
     A few nights ago, this special person and I we're headed home from a get together with some friends we share. I told him I'd give him a ride, and said it was time to go. Learning this news, he grabs a new beer from the fridge. Of course, I ask why he's doing this, considering I just said we were taking off, and I don't want that open bottle in my car. He replies that he just wants to chug the whole bottle "real quick" and get "more messed up." (Mind you, he was already well passed his limit, you could see the sadness in his eyes.) I told him it was unnecessary, and that he's better than the person he's acting like just because he's hurt. This friend, amongst many other regular life struggles, has a girl issue. The whole 'I like this girl, but she likes another dude,' issue. The same boat one million and five of us have been in before... Well, in his drunken state, while in my car on the way to drop him off at home, he blurts out, in silence (and the radio low in the background), "I don't think I care anymore,"
so naturally, I respond, "About what?"
He says, "Anything."
We sat in silence for a few more minutes. He mentions to me that he is sorry if he offended me back at the party, and he's curious if I'm angry at him. This is when I decided to be brutally honest.
"The only thing about our friendship that pisses me off, honestly, is that sometimes you care less about yourself than I do. Sometimes you act like you completely don't give a shit about your own self, and it's not fair to people who care about you and want to see you do well. It's selfish, to sit here in my passenger seat as I make sure you get home safe, and as you know very well how important your happiness is to me, for you to just tell me you don't care about anything. It may seem silly, but your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and drinking your problems "away" won't solve a damn thing. I've gone through some depressing times, and I know depression when I see it, big or small. You've got to care about yourself, about your own well-being. You let people get close to you, and they're gonna start caring about you. I don't wanna see you beating yourself up and feeling like shit constantly. You've gotta pick yourself up. You're better than this. You're better when you're happy. Things get better but, man, you've got to let them. You can't keep your head down. I'm here for you and I promise that."
He sat silent, so I added, "I'm sorry if I crossed a line, but -"
"No," he stopped me.
Then we both said "Sometimes you need to hear it," at the same time.
He stayed quiet, though. After a few minutes, I asked, "Are you alright?"
His response is the reason for his whole post.
His response is the reason I keep doing what I do... Giving advice when I can, telling random people how worth-it they are, pushing to put a smile where a frown is found.
His response.. "I'm okay... You just made me feel special for a minute."
"That's because you are," I told him.

    WE ARE ALL SPECIAL. We all deserve a friend who cares about us enough to be a little harsh in order to get it through to us that we are awesome. We all deserve to be our own friend. We are all worthy, so worthy, of love and care and time and whatever else you think you aren't worthy of. We are ALL fighting a battle, but NONE of us are alone. So, if you're still with me, if you're still reading, do me a favor and tell someone today that they are worth it. Tell someone, whether it be a stranger or your very best friend or your mother, let someone know they are cared about, and the world would be different without them. Everyone needs a pick-me-up once in a while, and a random one is the best kind - blindside someone with kindness today, Love them. Love yourself. Love ALL.

Thanks for reading guys, I know this isn't like my usual posts, but I had to share. I love each and every one of you!!

Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

     Too many times, too many relationships I've seen poisoned by what someone thinks is "love." Someone who shows you what you deserve from day one, but slowly changes to bring you hurt and disrespect, has shown you who they will really be throughout your relationship. Yes it is true, people change. And sometimes, some of us go  through what you might call a "rough patch," but that brings no excuse to continuously mistreat your partner. Too many times I've seen someone, male or female, take the mistreating that their partner gives them and say things such as "they're having a bad day" or even "they're like that with everyone." It's mind-boggling that we've come to   point where people are unsure of what they deserve - unsure of their own worth. WE ARE ALL WORTHY of someone who loves us unconditionally. There should never be a time when you tell your partner it's "okay" for abusing you, both physically and verbally. There should never be a time when you wonder if you are enough. There should never be a time when you think they used to love you "better". If that time comes, you know it is your time to leave. And there we find another issue - leaving; not many people think they have the strength to leave, especially if the relationship has a label of a year or longer.
     Leaving will be one of the hardest things you've ever done. To some, harder than others. It always depends on the relationship. Strength is within you. It is within all of us, and we don't even know how strong we really are. Leaving can destroy some, and that might sound scary, but once you have left, you can begin to rebuild..
     Rebuilding; this is the part that will bring you the greatest joy. Nowadays, people run to relationships for security. We are all scared of what might come and no one wants to face it alone. But you are NOT secure in the arms of someone who does not see your value. And everyone has GOT TO STOP trying to PROVE their worth to someone who does not SEE IT THEMSELVES. Those people are poison. Those people do not deserve the endless mountains of love you have to give away.
     One day, YOU will find a way to rebuild your heart, and you will find your soul, and you will know yourself, better than you've ever dreamed. That day will only come when you realize what you've been taking isn't what you deserve. Stop taking from others and start giving to yourself. LOVE is all you need.. And when you realize that, my friend, you've won. 

To Love or Not To Love

It's scary knowing you've begun to "catch feelings" for someone. Knowing that someone has a piece of you, no matter how small, is frightening to us, and some can't even explain why.
We are all living in a world where it is terrifying to love and be loved, only because we would rather not have it at all, than to have it and lose it. We live in a world where people, teenagers, adults, almost everyone has chosen to not only block out their feelings, but pretend they don't exist. This is the most unhealthy trend we've yet to create. I've been in the position where my feelings were hurt and I'd felt betrayed, but there is a difference between protecting your heart and pretending you don't have one. It is always smart to be cautious, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be hurt. But you cannot let the fear of not knowing keep you from finding true love. I read a quote once, although I have no idea who said it, it really stuck with me, "You have to love. You have you feel. It is the reason you are here on Earth. You are here to risk your heart." 
YOU ARE HERE TO RISK YOUR HEART. You were put on this very planet to love and love and love some more. Love does not come easy, and it is not found, but given. You cannot search for it, but as you sit and wait, when it comes around, you've got to accept it and see what new heights it can take you to. The opportunities are endless once you open your heart to love. It may seem like it has failed before, but LOVE will always shine through and crush your doubts and fears. Give love a chance. Give yourself a chance.